Break up Status Updates

Break up Status Updates

• It was hard for me to walk away. But even harder when you didn’t even bother to try and stop me.
• Time passes. Memories fade. Feelings change. People leave. But hearts never forget.
• The deeper you love someone, the greater power they have to hurt you. So love wisely.
• The hardest thing in life is watching someone you love , loving your best-friend.
• Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to.
• When you said you loved me, did you mean it?
• If two past lovers remain friends, it`s either someone is still in love, or someone is still hoping for a second chance.
• If you like me, Tell Me. If you miss me, Show it. If you love me, Prove it.
• Delete from Facebook: Done ✔ Delete from Msn: Done ✔ Delete from cell phone: Done ✔ Delete from the Heart:Error
• Never recycle a past relationship. Because if it didn`t work out before, what makes you think it would this time?
• I wish I knew what I was getting into before I started to care this much.
• Falling for you☑ Losing you☑ Crying over you☑ Getting over you☐
• It`s sad when you think something can last forever, and the other person isn’t as fully committed as you are.
• We never really move on, all you can do is find someone else to think about.
• Being single doesn’t necessarily mean you`re available. Sometimes you have to put up a sign that says, “Do Not Disturb” on your heart. ♥
• You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story.
• The hardest thing to do is watch someone you love, love someone else.
• Dear Tummy, sorry 4 all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry 4 all the tears. Dear Heart, sorry 4 all the damage. Dear Brain, you were right.
• A heart break is a blessing from God. It`s just his way of letting you realize he saved you from the wrong one.
• Dear brain, give me a break. Get that someone out of my mind, please.
• A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it.
  No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.
  Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.
  It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.
  Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
  Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
  - Khalil Gibran
  The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.
  I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you
  Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don’t deserve me. They’re right, you don’t deserve me, but I deserve you.
  Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
  When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. You are no longer alive.
  I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.
  It’s hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does.
  The heart was made to be broken.
  - Oscar Wilde
  Just because you don’t deserve my tears doesn’t mean I don’t waste them on you.
  Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
  - Robert Browning
  Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.
  - Victoria Holt
  Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn’t think you wanted.
  Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.
  Just give me time and I’ll get over you.
  Don’t cry over someone who wouldn’t cry over you.
  - Lauren Conrad
  Love is unconditional, relationships are not.
  - Grant Gudmundson
  If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
  The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.
  - Astrid Alauda
  Let me be the one to break it up so you won’t have to make excuses.
  Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.
  Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
  Don’t trust too much, don’t love too much, don’t care too much because that ‘too much’ will hurt you so much!
  The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up.
  As soon as forever is through, I’ll be over you.
  - Toto
  My biggest mistake wasn’t falling for you. It was thinking you had fallen for me too.
  There’s a girl in my mirror crying tonight, and there’s nothing I can say to make her feel all right.
  I was born the day I met you, lived a while when you loved me, died a little when we broke apart.
  My heart was taken by you, broken by you, and now it is in pieces because of you.
  The worst way to love someone is to sit next to them, knowing they don’t love you back.
  Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.
  - Lamartine
  The sad part isn’t that we never talk, its that we used to talk everyday.
  I don’t want to keep being the girl that keeps crying about the same things.
  You don’t realize how much you care about someone until they don’t care about you.
  I wish you weren’t in my dreams.
  Sometimes I wish I had never met you, so when I lay in bed at night I wouldn’t have anything to be sad about.
  If you can’t save the relationship, at least save your pride.

Funny LoL Status Ideas

A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving.
Cop: Sir have you been drinking?
Man: No.
Cop: Papers.
Man: Scissors, I win!
Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
I’m not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time: lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
Dear Warner Bros: Now that I’m an adult, I feel I’m am old enough to hear what the “Beep Beep” is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says “Look, a dead bird.” Blonde looks up in the sky, “WHERE, WHERE?”
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Scratch here – ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal today’s status?
Would like to congratulate their parents on having such an awesome daughter-well done!
When you see a man opening a car door for a woman it can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either the car is new or the wife is.
Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!
Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.
I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, “You’re next“.
A murderer was sitting on the electric chair. “Do u have any last requests?” “Yes, will u hold my hand?” XD
Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: Good job son! Girl: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*
Cops came around to my house today, told me that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, i told them to bugger off, my dog does not own a bike!
I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you’re in Heaven!
Insert coin to view status message?
When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half!
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job… slowly raise your head and say “in jesus name amen”.
Ques: Why do Girls live Longer Than Boys? Ans: Shopping never Causes Heart Attacks, .. But Paying the Bill does.
Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, You write on walls and you get poked by people you dont know
Dear God, please give us back Michael Jackson and in exchange we’ll give you Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Bros. Sincerely, Me.
There’s no such thing as insomnia. Just a lot of people with Internet access. (by ziggy)
”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – Saket Narayan

1. You don’t have to like me, I’m not a facebook status!
2. If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!
3. Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
4. I am not born to please people, So if you want to get pleased try me in next life…good luck!
5.  Dear math: I am not a therapist, so solve your own problems.
6. What do i do when i see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile and when i get tired i put the mirror down
7. 4 out of 5 urologists smell an apple juice before they drink it.
8. Girls spend the first 10 years of their lifes playing with barbies. The next 10 years of their lifes they try to look like one. (;
9. How come Mario can smash through bricks, yet he dies when he touches a freakin turtle??
10.  How much do I have to drink to get a mosquito drunk?
11. Today I decided to burn calories so i turned fire on fat kids!!
12.  I’m not saying you’re stupid; you just have bad luck when you’re thinking.
13. I miss you like a retard misses the point!
14. wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…but suicide’s a crime.
15. I wish I had Doras parents… They let that girl go everywhere!
16. I got all excited when my husband said he was taking somewhere expensive tonight. 10 minutes later we were at the gas station.
17. “Super” Mario should so be a kid role model: “Heyy kids don’t be racist… I’m an Italian made by the Japanese I speak English I look like a Mexican and I run like a Jamaican!”
18. Just finished my 6 minute upper body workout-it was pretty easy:arm down,pick up food,arm up,put food in mouth, switch arms.
19. Ok Mario you can hit bricks with your head right? Then why do you die when you touch a turtle WTF! -.-
20. A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive and invincible …No, wait. Sorry. I’m thinking of wine. It’s wine that does all that. Never mind.
21.  When a lady had a nice time with a guy, she looks forward for the next moment and the guys looks forward for the next chick.
22. I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years.
23.  they say you should pay taxes with a smile, I tried……. but they wanted cash.
24. The awkward moment when you go to grab someone sexy and tell em hey and you run into the mirror!
25. The awkward moment when your at your friends house and your friend is fighting with their parents so you just go and pat the dog.
26. Children – You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
27. Success is like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own.
28. I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
29. Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you’re in Heaven!
30. Insert coin to view status message?
31. When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half!
32. If you ever get caught sleeping on the job… slowly raise your head and say “in jesus name amen”.
33. Note to self: Never make eye contact with a man while eating a banana.
34. Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, You write on walls and you get poked by people you dont know.
35. I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, “You’re next“.
36. A murderer was sitting on the electric chair. “Do u have any last requests?” “Yes, will u hold my hand.Would like to congratulate their parents on having such an awesome daughter-well done!
37. When you see a man opening a car door for a woman it can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either the car is new or the wife is.
38. Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!
39. Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.
40. Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
41. I’m not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time: lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
42. Dear Warner Bros: Now that I’m an adult, I feel I’m am old enough to hear what the “Beep Beep” is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
43. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
44. Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
45. Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says “Look, a dead bird.” Blonde looks up in the sky, “WHERE, WHERE?”
46. Fucking” is one of those fucking words you can fucking put any fucking where in a sentence and it still makes fucking sense.
47. Just wanna be a good guy, no matter how hard it is…
48.  People always say hard work pays off in future but, why wouldn’t they think of Laziness that pays off now.
49.  I used to play sports alot. Until, recently I realized that trophies are much cheaper than I ever imagined they were. You know what, now I’m good at everything.
50. Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn’t surprising really, know why?? It isn’t my birthday today!!
51. It’s too bad that not many people repeat their mistakes. I’m so good at it.
52. wanted to be a hero. He wanted the glory, he wanted the fame, he wanted the pretty girls to come up to him and kiss him.
53. Best file compression around: “DELETE” = 100% compression.
54. I want to kill the smartest person in the world… but suicide is a crime, you know!!
55. If you try to fail and you succeed, have you succeeded or failed?
56. 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
57. If you can’t get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
58. Wealthy people miss one of life’s greatest thrills…making the last car payment.
59. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
60. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
61. Assassins do it from behind.
62. I could talk about myself for hours. But the second someone asks me to tell them a little bit about myself? I can’t even remember my name.
63. One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions
64. I don’t know what I’d do without Facebook. Probably my work.
65. I am the type of person who laughs at mistakes, so pardon me if I laugh at your face
66. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
67. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use Facebook and they won’t bother you for Weeks
68. I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
69. Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
70. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling.
71. I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, “How did you get in here?”
72. Not every flower can say love, a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, a cactus did. Not every retard can read, but look at you go!”
73. Today I told my car it’s ok to tell me it’s a Transformer. It did’nt answer. I figure it’s just waiting for the right moment….
74. I’m so cool I embarass winter
75. Allow me to introduce my selves.
76. Morning all…. as you can see your assassins fails!
77. My gf died in my arms. Actually I was holding her under the water.
78. When you sponsor a dog, The dog will write back to you… How??
79. So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
80. Insert coin to view my status message.”
81. “Most of us can keep a secret. It’s the people we tell it to who can’t.”
82. ..says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”
83. “Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.”
84. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
85. I will stop judging myself on how many people I have on my friends list. Also, stop taking posed, extreme angle profile pics…if you know me you know what I really look like.
86. If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
87. You don’t have to like me, I’m not a facebook status!
88. You can steal my status updates if you like, but I lick every single one before I post them.
89. Next time your “making love” try screaming your own name!
90. If life is such a bitch , Why do 97% of Men Marry one ??
91. Take life as it comes in your face and runs down your chin.
92. When I die, i`m gonna have a “like” and “dislike” button on my gravestone
93. Do not ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
94. Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit!
95. There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don’t.
96. Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks everyone.
97. I know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling.
98. I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”
99. Violence is not the answer only a temporary solution, read that on wikipedia somewhere!
100. If the world was fair, Elvis Presley would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead!
101. Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.
102. Just deleted 100 friends… if you are reading this congrats my friend
103. Life’s a bitch, if it were a slut it’d be so much easier.
104. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some continue to abuse the privilege!
105. I used to laugh from my heart now I laugh from mind. The only reason why I’m still laughing is to keep you from knowing that I’m crying.
106. …Says that one day, you will look at me and think – “he was good to me…he really did love me.”
107. you can replace me… but you can never forget me…
108. Which is worse? To be in someone’s life but not in their dreams? Or to be in someone’s dreams but not in their life?
109. I woke up again today with my heart hurting… it misses you. I don’t know why. It should hate you for breaking it and making it miserable, but it doesn’t.
110. it hurts when you try to make things RIGHT, and all that they can see in you is WRONG.
111. girls fall in love with what they hear and boys fall in love with what they see and that’s why girls wear make up and boys lie
112. U pushed me so far away, now I’m on the edge. Do u love me enough to pull me back? Or prove me right and let me fall, letting the next person pick me up!MeliMel
113. I’ve let certain people stay in my life far longer than they deserve and it’s time to toss out the trash and bring back those who did nothing wrong 
114. you won’t tell me because you think the truth will hurt me, but it’s the lie that’s killing me
115. I’m trying not to love you. I’m trying not to care. I’m trying not to live my life wishing you were here. But i just can’t do it..

It’s funny how girls RUN from the guys who try to make them happy, and FIGHT for the ones that make them cry..

Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares

Sometimes when you love something, it’s best to let it go…But what happens if you love something so much, you can’t let it go?

no use, don’t try i will sit here and die. no rose no kiss could make up for this, you were my world, my life, now i just think of you when i pick up the knife

Don’t tell me you love me, i might do something crazy like believe you.

Even with all this pain inside of me, I still try to keep a smile on my face

It’s sad when the person that made you feel this bad in the first place, has no idea that you hurt at all.

sometimes all you ever want is someone to want and need you as much as you want and need them

is tired of always being second best, why cant i be first for once! I do have a heart u know, it’s not a toy which can be played with whenever u feel like it!

is tired of always being second best, why cant i be first for once! I do have a heart u know, it’s not a toy which can be played with whenever u feel like it!

trust is better than love~~you can always love someone that you can trust~~but you can’t always trust someone that you love.

Frustrated because I can’t tell if it’s real. Mad because I don’t know how you feel. Upset because we can’t make it right. Sad because I need you day and night.

If you love someone, you should never give up on them, even if they make mistakes..

Even though you hurt me so much I don’t hate you, I don’t regret meeting you, I don’t regret loving you, because you are the reason I am who I am, strong.

its like being trapped, when someone you love breaks your heart , it gets hard to love anymore or to even trust anyone with your heart.

is thinking it is time to step back, take a deep breath, and let things fall where they may. It will all work out in the end, even if it’s not the way we want.

Men are worthless. Feelings of love are just a temporary lapse in judgement, like a kind of mental illness.

I’ve tried so hard not to let it show. I’ve tried so hard not to care, but I guess when your heart breaks, you begin to see the cracks in everything.

You knew I was broken, yet, you had to crush the already broken bits into tiny, unfixable pieces…

The strongest people are not those who always win, but those who stand back up when they fall.

I use to say…I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight, I will hold you tight, and I won’t let go..Then one day i realized your just not worth it any more

No matter what happens; your always going to love that one person, even if they hurt you a million and one times.

If you care and love someone you don’t go flirting with others .You make that person know how you feel.That is what is wrong in the world . some are never happy

mom always said not to write on walls . . . but apparently on Facebook u can.

since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?

Had a very busy day today, converting oxygen to carbon dioxide. Aha very productive

i di dont get it when someone says paper beats rock in paper scissors rock, what happens if i threw a rock at u and all u had was a piece of paper to defend urself

Finds it funny when somebody rings your house phone and then asks where you are?

History lesson: The dinosaur’s didn’t go extinct. Barney showed up and they all committed suicide.

Need to talk? (Text Me) Need a friend? (Call Me) Need a hug? (Stop By) Need some money? (This number is no longer in service)