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that awkward moment when you get no likes, so you delete your status. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"
If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!
Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio
...condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don't do your job properly, I lose mine for 9
About: Funny Facebook Status quotes
"Username or Password incorrect." TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A BITCH
In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em to fuck with you.
Live for today, because yesterday is over and tomorrow may never come.
I know eventually it will all be alright but right now it’s not.
That’s cute how you think that affects me. Truly adorable.
Everybody’s a self-made man, but only the successful ones are ever willing to admit it
Don`t go that extra mile for someone who isn`t even worth the run.
Be wise in the decisions you make! sometimes it only takes a minute to make a decision, but you may end up spending a lifetimes regretting it.
People really should remember to engage their brain before they operate their mouth.
Don’t fear the enemy that attacks you, but the false friend that hugs you. Careful who you trust don’t be naive.
The best thing about being me, I’m a limited edition, there are no other copies!
It doesn’t matter what other people think of you, it only matters what you think of you. Don’t change because one person doesn’t like you.
There comes a time when you have to be strong, hold your head up high, and know you did your best! Don’t ever settle for less than what you deserve..
You’re the best thing that I have, I mean I had.
Sometimes you have to know when to stop hoping.
You define your own life. Don’t let people write your script..
One of the hardest things to do is “TRUST”, especially when those whom you “TRUSTED” the most were those who betrayed you.
Everyday passes by and i am one step closer to the best thing in my life.
Being defeated is often temporary, giving up makes it permanent.
Sometimes, the questions are more important than the answers.
I love photos because the best thing about them is that they never change even when the people in them change and they remind you of the amazing feelings.
Never waste time on someone who does not have time for you. be with someone who will say “time is wasted if I am not with you”
Selfishness is better than selflessness. It’s like being happy without giving a DAMN.
We have so many needs in our life, but at the end of the day, all we need is to be needed.
Forgiving is easy, forgetting is hard.
What`s better? A lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?
To gain something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.
While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy..
Never judge a book by it’s cover, or even after you have only read a few chapters, you should never voice an opinion until you know the entire story.
And at the end of the day I know I did the best I could do
The best way to screw up your life is to listen to others when they tell you how to live it.
Never settle for less when you KNOW you deserve the BEST..
Remember… every thing in life is a Choice, and every Choice comes with a Consequence, whether good or bad, Stop and think before you Choose your Consequence!
Sooner or later it wont all be about looks anymore, it will be about whats inside, trust, loyalty and honesty and finding true happiness.
Life is meant to be lived by facing the challenges it brings.
The word “HATERS” begins with the word “HA” for a reason.
Learn to appreciate what you have before time forces you to appreciate what you had
The person who can find sorrow behind your smile… words behind your silence and love behind your anger, is the person who can hold you forever.
View life as a continuous learning experience.
Never put your happiness in someone elses hands.
The best thing in life is doing what people say you can’t do.
One of the best things in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and weaknesses and still loves you and wants to be a part of all the craziness ..
Smile. It irritates those who wish to destroy you..
Good things come in good time.
The best feeling in the world is when you KNOW your heart is smiling..
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.
Beauty isn`t measured by the number of likes of your picture on Facebook..
What made you happy once, might not make you happy now.
I`m in love with your statuses. You always make me smile…
In an emergency, I`d probably write status about it before calling the police.
Facebook really needs a `No one cares` button..
Log Out is the hardest button to press…
The awkward moment when someone likes your picture that you posted 8 months ago.
The best love story is when you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.
If you don`t want me to cross the line, then don`t draw one.
3 Main rules in Relationships: Don`t lie, Don`t cheat, and Don`t make promises you can`t keep.
The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. It can only be accepted.
The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do.
Girls, being beautiful doesn’t make you nice. Being nice makes you beautiful..
Beauty is power; a smile is its sword..
Admit it, sometimes, even when your crush does something really weird, it still looks cute for you.
You’re always loved by me in ways you’ll never see.
People who are meant to be together will always find their way back.
It`s amazing how much you discover on facebook.
It`s not official until it`s on facebook.
Does anybody know how can I send an enemy request on Facebook?
You can`t face the problem if the problem iz your face.
The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. It can only be accepted.
Instead of focusing on what’s missing, learn to appreciate what’s there.
The biggest problem in life isn`t the problem itself, but how people act upon it.
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.
No surprises, my heart can’t take it.
A friend is someone who’s there when he needs you.
Wow, who knew life could be this amazing..
Life is good, usually but at this moment, life is amazing.
Life is simple, we make it complicated..
Love your enemies.It’ll confuse them..
sometimes my fabulous ness even amazes me.
You want know about who is amazing and has the cutest smile Read the first word again
coins always make a sound but the currency notes are always silent,So when ur value increases, keep urself calm and silent
Life is good usually but at this moment life is amazing
Sometimes you have to let go of your fear to catch your destiny…
Some people only listen to, and believe what they want to hear, the truth, to them, is irrelevant.
Don’t be ashamed to be different. Be proud that God made you like no one else.
My life isn’t perfect, but it does have perfect moments.
Strong is the new beautiful.
Due to circumstances within my control, tomorrow will be cancelled.
Monsters are real. Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win.
The awkward moment when you pull your blankets up and punch yourself in the damn face.
The most positive men are the most credulous.
To love and be loved is the great happiness of existence.
Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today’s events.
the most beautiful thing in this world is to see your parents smiling, and knowing that you're the reason behind it :)
I am a part of all that I have met.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving..
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire..
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you…
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman..
C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping…
Everything happens for a reason, the hard part is finding the reason.
Trust is like an eraser. It gets smaller with every mistake you make…
The worst disease in the world is fear, and i am AFRAID of it..
Love is like two people holding a rubber band, we pull, then when one person let’s go, it’s the person who held on that gets hurt..
