Thursday, December 8, 2011

Coolest Status







╔══════════════════════╗
║╔════════════════════╗╚╗
║║██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░╚╗╚╗
║║██░░░░░Battery Low░░░░░░_║║║
║║██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░╔╝╔╝
║╚════════════════════╝╔╝

that awkward moment when you get no likes, so you delete your status. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.

The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"


If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!


Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.


Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio


...condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don't do your job properly, I lose mine for 9

About: Funny Facebook Status quotes

"Username or Password incorrect." TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A BITCH


In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em to fuck with you.

Live for today, because yesterday is over and tomorrow may never come.


I know eventually it will all be alright but right now it’s not.


That’s cute how you think that affects me. Truly adorable.


Everybody’s a self-made man, but only the successful ones are ever willing to admit it


Don`t go that extra mile for someone who isn`t even worth the run.


Be wise in the decisions you make! sometimes it only takes a minute to make a decision, but you may end up spending a lifetimes regretting it.


People really should remember to engage their brain before they operate their mouth.


Don’t fear the enemy that attacks you, but the false friend that hugs you. Careful who you trust don’t be naive.


The best thing about being me, I’m a limited edition, there are no other copies!


It doesn’t matter what other people think of you, it only matters what you think of you. Don’t change because one person doesn’t like you.


There comes a time when you have to be strong, hold your head up high, and know you did your best! Don’t ever settle for less than what you deserve..


You’re the best thing that I have, I mean I had.


Sometimes you have to know when to stop hoping.


You define your own life. Don’t let people write your script..



One of the hardest things to do is “TRUST”, especially when those whom you “TRUSTED” the most were those who betrayed you.


Everyday passes by and i am one step closer to the best thing in my life.


Being defeated is often temporary, giving up makes it permanent.


Sometimes, the questions are more important than the answers.


I love photos because the best thing about them is that they never change even when the people in them change and they remind you of the amazing feelings.


Never waste time on someone who does not have time for you. be with someone who will say “time is wasted if I am not with you”


Selfishness is better than selflessness. It’s like being happy without giving a DAMN.


We have so many needs in our life, but at the end of the day, all we need is to be needed.


Forgiving is easy, forgetting is hard.


What`s better? A lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?


To gain something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.


While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy..


Never judge a book by it’s cover, or even after you have only read a few chapters, you should never voice an opinion until you know the entire story.


‎ And at the end of the day I know I did the best I could do


The best way to screw up your life is to listen to others when they tell you how to live it.


Never settle for less when you KNOW you deserve the BEST..


Remember… every thing in life is a Choice, and every Choice comes with a Consequence, whether good or bad, Stop and think before you Choose your Consequence!


Sooner or later it wont all be about looks anymore, it will be about whats inside, trust, loyalty and honesty and finding true happiness.


Life is meant to be lived by facing the challenges it brings.


The word “HATERS” begins with the word “HA” for a reason.


Learn to appreciate what you have before time forces you to appreciate what you had


The person who can find sorrow behind your smile… words behind your silence and love behind your anger, is the person who can hold you forever.


View life as a continuous learning experience.


Never put your happiness in someone elses hands.


The best thing in life is doing what people say you can’t do.


One of the best things in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and weaknesses and still loves you and wants to be a part of all the craziness ..

Smile. It irritates those who wish to destroy you..


Good things come in good time.


The best feeling in the world is when you KNOW your heart is smiling..


Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.


Beauty isn`t measured by the number of likes of your picture on Facebook..


What made you happy once, might not make you happy now.


I`m in love with your statuses. You always make me smile…

In an emergency, I`d probably write status about it before calling the police.


Facebook really needs a `No one cares` button..


Log Out is the hardest button to press…


The awkward moment when someone likes your picture that you posted 8 months ago.


The best love story is when you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.


If you don`t want me to cross the line, then don`t draw one.


3 Main rules in Relationships: Don`t lie, Don`t cheat, and Don`t make promises you can`t keep.


The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. It can only be accepted.


The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do.


Girls, being beautiful doesn’t make you nice. Being nice makes you beautiful..


Beauty is power; a smile is its sword..


Admit it, sometimes, even when your crush does something really weird, it still looks cute for you.


You’re always loved by me in ways you’ll never see.


People who are meant to be together will always find their way back.


It`s amazing how much you discover on facebook.


It`s not official until it`s on facebook.


Does anybody know how can I send an enemy request on Facebook?


You can`t face the problem if the problem iz your face.


The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. It can only be accepted.


Instead of focusing on what’s missing, learn to appreciate what’s there.


The biggest problem in life isn`t the problem itself, but how people act upon it.


When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.


No surprises, my heart can’t take it.


A friend is someone who’s there when he needs you.


Wow, who knew life could be this amazing..


Life is good, usually but at this moment, life is amazing.


Life is simple, we make it complicated..


Love your enemies.It’ll confuse them..


sometimes my fabulous ness even amazes me.


You want know about who is amazing and has the cutest smile Read the first word again


coins always make a sound but the currency notes are always silent,So when ur value increases, keep urself calm and silent


Life is good usually but at this moment life is amazing


Sometimes you have to let go of your fear to catch your destiny…


Some people only listen to, and believe what they want to hear, the truth, to them, is irrelevant.


Don’t be ashamed to be different. Be proud that God made you like no one else.


My life isn’t perfect, but it does have perfect moments.


Strong is the new beautiful.


Due to circumstances within my control, tomorrow will be cancelled.


Monsters are real. Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win.


The awkward moment when you pull your blankets up and punch yourself in the damn face.


The most positive men are the most credulous.


To love and be loved is the great happiness of existence.


Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today’s events.

the most beautiful thing in this world is to see your parents smiling, and knowing that you're the reason behind it :)


I am a part of all that I have met.


Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.


Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving..


decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire..


You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you…


If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.


Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman..


C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping…


Everything happens for a reason, the hard part is finding the reason.


Trust is like an eraser. It gets smaller with every mistake you make…


The worst disease in the world is fear, and i am AFRAID of it..


Love is like two people holding a rubber band, we pull, then when one person let’s go, it’s the person who held on that gets hurt..



Life Quotes and Sayings







Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.

Life is about increasing understanding by expanding our ability to experience new things. New realities, points of view other than the ones familiar to us.
Ken Dyers

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.
Henry Van Dyke

It’s your life, your one and only life-so take excellence very personally.
Scott Johnson

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.
Anthony Robbins

You’ve got to get to the stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing.
Arthur Ashe

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed–I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself.
Georges Clemenceau

There are only four questions of value in life. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made of? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.
Don Juan Demarco

Once you can understand and fully accept that you are solely and personally responsible for your own life, you can decide to do something about it.
Magic Power of Mind

What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the greatest good is little enough; for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams.
Pedro Calderon de la Barca

Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier.
Albert Schweitzer

Life, like all games becomes more fun, when you realize that it is just a game!
Unknown

Life is too deep for words. so don’t try to describe it - just live it.
Unknown

Life is truly what you make it. There is no mystery to this simple fact – it simply is.

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.
David Nichols

The most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.
Pierre de Courbertin

To change one’s life; Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.
William James

Life itself is not something we need to understand. It is simply an experience to be enjoyed, with no other purpose than that.
Unknown

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Unknown

Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Unknown

When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities.
William James

I can get sad, I can get frustrated, I can get scared, but I never get depressed – because there’s joy in my life.
Michael J. Fox

The most important of life’s battles is the one we fight daily in the silent chambers of the soul.

The key to Live Life to the Fullest is knowing how to balance all aspects of life.
Unknown

You will have the rest of your life to remember. But what you have to remember depends on what you do today.

We are always getting ready to live but never living.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is about laughing and living, in good and bad times. Getting through whatever comes our way and looking back and smiling.
Unknown

When it comes to life the critical thing is, whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.
Gilbert Chesterton

It is only when we realize that life is taking us nowhere that it begins to have meaning.
P.D. Ouspensky

Life is God’s novel. Let him write it.
Isaac Bashevis Singer

Do not try to solve all life's problems at once -- learn to dread each day as it comes.
Donald Kaul

Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.

Unknown Love is life. You have to live it and breath love. It is also forgiveness. Take the good with the bad and forgive. Life is way to short.
Renee dye

I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light.
John Keith Falconer

Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb but how well you bounce.
Vivian Komori

To win in life, don’t fear in life.
Unknown

Life is like a wild tiger. You can either lie down and let it lay it's paw on your head... or sit on it's back and ride it.
Unknown

Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.
Wayne Dyer

At one point in your life you either have the thing you want or the reasons why you don’t
Andy Roddick

Live your life in the manner that you would like your kids to live theirs.
Michael Levine

Life is meant to be extraordinary, our bodies are meant to be vital, and like a candle, burn brightly until their final moment.
Unknown


A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.
James Allen

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.
Charles Darwin

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
Henry Ellis

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
William James

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Buddha

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain

Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it.
Henry David Thoreau

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
William Wallace

Ads by Google
Jesus Loves You
Here is a Prayer For You This Prayer Can Change Your Life.
GodLife.com/Jesus2020

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Jean-Paul Sartre

Everything in life is luck.
Donald Trump

Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.
Karen Horney

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.
Richard Bach

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
E. B. White

I do not regret one moment of my life.
Lillie Langtry

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I love life because what more is there.
Anthony Hopkins

I take care of my flowers and my cats. And enjoy food. And that's living.
Ursula Andress

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
Charles M. Schulz

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
Robert Frost

It is not length of life, but depth of life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's all about quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family.
Philip Green

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
Josh Billings

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw

Life has meaning only if one barters it day by day for something other than itself.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
Sholom Aleichem

Life is a long lesson in humility.
James M. Barrie

Ads by Google
Happiness is a Skill
Anyone Can Be Happy. All You Need is Some Basics!
matthewferry.com

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
Truman Capote

Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be.
Jose Ortega y Gasset

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
Dave Barry

Life is but thought.
Sara Teasdale

Life is half spent before we know what it is.
George Herbert

Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time.
Miguel Angel Ruiz

Life is much shorter than I imagined it to be.
Abraham Cahan

Life is never easy for those who dream.
Robert James Waller

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz

Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.
Karen Horney

Life loves the liver of it.
Maya Angelou

Life must be lived as play.
Plato

Life well spent is long.
Leonardo da Vinci

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
Mel Brooks

May you live all the days of your life.
Jonathan Swift

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.
Arthur Miller

My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
Cary Grant

My life is every moment of my life. It is not a culmination of the past.
Hugh Leonard

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

Ads by Google
Healing for the Broken
Is your life shattered and Broken? There is someone who can fix it!
www.JourneyAnswers.com

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Brendan Gill

Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.
Socrates

Only a few things are really important.
Marie Dressler

People living deeply have no fear of death.
Anais Nin

The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.
Marcus Aurelius

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
H. L. Mencken

The fear of life is the favorite disease of the 20th century.
William Lyon Phelps

The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
William James

The main facts in human life are five: birth, food, sleep, love and death.
E. M. Forster

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
Henry David Thoreau