Funny Status Update

James People reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).

jake Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

love I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.

menka It recently became apparent to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I'll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase "Regards" ever again.

Mike How To Be A Hero tip: When destroying the enemy be sure to kill all the criminals in reverse order of importance before confronting the kingpin himself.

Ron went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.

leah Don't waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", think of another song you like and hum that instead.

fritz What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next week.

yen My wife said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it's going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.

wenna Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.

leah Hi, my name is Damimeve. The 'mime' is silent.

jake got her test results back this morning and is shocked to find that she's been diagnosed with OCD. She's rung the doctors nine times to check if they're correct.